Before we got married, I really don’t remember how I knew you loved me. I’m not sure that I did. I’m not sure we knew what we said when we said “I love you.” I never questioned whether or not you’d care for me. But love? We didn’t understand.
You probably don’t remember this, but in the early days when the bed was new, I knew you loved me when one night my past throbbed hard in my mind. I sobbed in bed with no covers on. You let me cry for a long time, and you weren’t scared. You gave me space. You didn’t have to ask a million questions. Then you came back to bed and just held me. I knew you loved me when you let me work out my own salvation.
Thousands of I Love Yous go by, and we try to make love better and better, but I knew you loved me when you chose me over credit for law school, how smart you are. One day, you weren’t faking it anymore. We didn’t realize how good it would feel to be offered the world. We didn’t realize we’d have to chose again and again. And eventually we learned to choose each other, when other options became available: the money, the status, the screen, the art.
I knew you loved me when the ball of your fist bruised my back as I labored with our firstborn, the fear in your eyes, the pleading, how you chanted, how you knew I could do it when I thought I couldn’t, and then I did.
We’re both still learning to be faithful. We are still learning how to follow through.
It’s daily. Ongoing. Every night the weight of your hand settles me down and I sleep. You look at your newest baby boy, and you talk the goofy words, and he smiles. I know you love me then. When you don’t lose your temper with them, and I learn from you how to be patient, I know you love me then, too.
I know that marriage is a long evolution, that the more our flaws are revealed, the more the love is known, how my wrinkles deepen and so, too, my habits.
You are proof of so much.
Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others. When you go hard after your marriage, I’m encouraged to go after mine. Thank you for joining us.
Link up below and then send your readers to these links to be encouraged. Also, be SURE to watch Joy and Scott’s video.