Marriage Letters: On the Names I Call You

from weheartit

Dear Seth,

Who came up with these marriage letter topics? I remind you of the one for this week, and you giggle like a boy in the kitchen, swat me with a towel, and call me Sweet Cheeks. Oh we’ve called each other many names, but Sweet Cheeks was never one of them.

So much depends on the names we call each other, the words you speak that project how you see me, often how God sees me. And not simply those spoken words, but deeper those words in our hearts, wherefrom the mouth flows, where visions are and forgiveness works itself and belief uproots bitterness. Those words I call you in my heart are power, and then to speak them is to believe fully, the confession.

I’ve called you good, handsome, God-hearer, lover, all-or-nothing, zealous, broken. I’ve called you peace-maker. I’ve called you unafraid. Smartest man I know. Completely goofy. Daddy of my children. Forgiver. Singer. Guitar Picker. Writer of songs. Lover of people. Visionary. You’re a gardener. You make things grow. You are a sufferer. You are my buddy.

Those things I call you to your face and behind your back and to your children and in my heart. I build you up out of words. And when wrong words have been used, it takes more words to cancel out the building I’ve done, what I’ve added to how God sees you.

The names I call you take an attribute that I recognize in you and then they set a course for you. You have certainly called me things that I would never have seen, and those things are becoming true of me, in the way I see myself. We all make choices based on who we think we are, what we’ve been called.

This morning at the rock house, I woke with a gentle man, to a house with a clean kitchen. Seth, you dried the dishes last night after I washed them. We do things just to stand together. Sometimes you have to make me. You are a prophet. Call me out; tell me to rest, sit in your lap. You are sweet in my ear. Name caller, you.

You are the man who takes out our trash, even when you forget. You are weak in all the right ways. That is to say that you are strong.

With every kind of love,

Sweet Cheeks


Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others. If you write a post, simply leave the link to your Marriage Letter post only, and then send your readers to this post for more encouragement from others. Thank you for joining us.


  1. “We do things just to stand together.” Sounds like us.
    Love reading these and the invitation to reflect on and refine my marriage. Thanks.
    Rae recently posted..Steadying the Mother Ship

  2. Oh, I liked what you did with this prompt. I had no clue what to do with it! :) “The names I call you take an attribute that I recognize in you and then they set a course for you.” – That an entire paragraph is such a valuable reminder about our words.
    Amanda @wandering recently posted..the marriage letters – the names I call you

  3. We had some hilarious interchanges about this week’s prompt too. :) Scott thinks this one was his idea and he rued that suggestion as soon as it came time to write it. Cracked me right up.
    Joy @ Joy In This Journey recently posted..I Don’t Call You Names ~ Marriage Letters

  4. Love it. “taker out of the trash” is one of my faves.
    LoraLynn recently posted..Finn’s Birth Story

  5. Amber this is lovely. Yes we build up with names. Often we become what we are called. I’m so thankful my man calls me loved, beautiful, gods-gift and calls me out in the most loving way of being sassy, sarcastic and often too guarded. Names are very important.
    Melissa @ the pleated polka dot recently posted..::thoughts on motherhood [the choice]::

    • I totally agree, Melissa. Names are very important. I still go back to names called wrongly so I can say what is true about them – even things from when I was small. Some of those names, I go to again and again. It’s strange the things we remember, you know?

  6. Beautifully written, Sweet Cheeks. Your closeness and holiness as a couple always makes me smile a bit tearfully and feel like I’m in the presence of true God-breathed awesomeness. But then the cleverness and wit and just-raw-you-ness I sense in both you and Seth makes the awesomeness so gutsy-real and next-door-knowable. Love that about you guys! These letters are such an amazingly good idea. xo
    Megan (FriedOkra) recently posted..WIWW: VS Dresses on a Regular Old Imperfectly Perfect Body (Yes, Gertrude, It CAN Be Done.)

  7. Amber-Lou,

    It’s good. It’s good to stand in your kitchen and watch you and Seth call each other names. It’s even good to laugh when you accidentally call Travis that name. :) Bah! Again I will say it. You are family to me, and that rock house is an extra home, one with extra love, extra peace, and extra Jesus when I really need Him.

    Love you.


  8. Love what you did with this post!!! : )
    the Blah Blah Blahger recently posted..OUR EASTER

  9. i call all of my little guys “buddy.” :) i like “sweet cheeks” too though. lol.
    imperfect prose recently posted..Worthy is the Lamb (a song for you, this Easter week, from my sister and I)

  10. Oh, lovely, lovely, Amber. LOVE what you and Seth has done with this prompt. So much. Thank you.
    diana trautwein recently posted..The Source of Life…a Guest Post

  11. I was mentioning to a friend at lunch some of the blogs I follow and how yours and Seth’s are two of them (there was more to it than that :)) and she said, “sounds like a soap opera, David married to Amber at runamuck and” NO, no, I interrupted her, SETH is married to Amber as I plucked another peanut out of the Kungpao Chicken. So, you were thought of in Beijing today. A shout out to you and Seth, at my fav place!
    Amy @ themessymiddle recently posted..Not too late to join

  12. I keep thinking about how what comes out of our mouths is the overflow of our hearts. I keep thinking about how that plays out in family life, and you have brought me encouragement with a good measure of conviction here, friend.
    Megan at SortaCrunchy recently posted..Spirit-Led Parenting Blog Tour Kick-Off!

  13. It’s a beautiful exchange going on between you and your man….I agree with Megan that it’s an apparent overflow of the heart. I just finished writing the story of how my husband and I met and am overwhelmed, even more after reading your letter, of just the gift God has given us in our marriage. People ask us how we do it…we always reply, “We never take it for granted.” These letters are a great reminder of never taking the gift for granted.
    Thank you.
    LoveFeast Table recently posted..Espresso Maple Short Rib Recipe

  14. It’s taken me a while to get the guts to do these…but I am! I love it!

  15. I love the message on the letter.
    Leah Cron recently posted..How to Get a Beautiful Smile with a Teeth Whitening

  16. It is very interesting letter. So nice.
    Ann Fantom recently posted..Gain a Bigger and Harder Erection Naturally


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