At the square, the market is splayed with late summer, the ripe tomatoes and hot banjo, exposed tattoos. The broad smiles of a planting day tell relief is on its way, rain even. Everything bends burnt orange, and I haven’t been out in a while. I feel like a new mother, though my 4th born son kicks his legs as I stroll him around with a bag of peaches dangling from the handles.
Titus has that feeding tube still, and I don’t think about it until I see heads turn. They say look how precious, and I see that they want to ask what’s wrong. I just mention those new apples. Are they sour?
A boy plays a mandolin. An old man has wrinkled puppy on a leash. The corner of the square is ripe and rich, a rainbow of fragrances, everyone facing the music.
Some have told me that God doesn’t design our bodies with faults. Some have called what’s happening in Titus a work of the devil. I hear the battle cry of how we’re made for Eden. I do have to agree with some of it, that He made us to walk with Him, especially now that I walk such a tightrope, and I can’t let go.
It takes me 10 minutes to load up the van. Apples roll across the parking lot, and Titus is fussy, and I don’t know if he’ll eat at all, but I see no devil here. I eat a peach and call my day good as I press into it. I don’t have to work hard to see God. When I pray, all I know is that He’s here. Once I cried and held up my hands and said do what You will with my children. Take them or heal them. Other than that I don’t know how to pray; all I say is GLORY.
If Titus’ delays become pronounced, what then? What of his special needs, the boy who taught me Jesus in his weakness?
Often we act like the beautiful, privileged ones have a corner on God’s goodness. Is a life more because it’s long, less because it’s short? Fearfully and wonderfully made, we’re all the needy and broken ones, because 20/20 vision doesn’t ever mean that the eyes of our hearts can see. The standard is in the eye of One Great Beholder.
Yes, let’s picture Titus in Eden. Let’s picture us all with hearts that know, eyes that behold, the glory of God.