(In)courage

Our Great Cloud of Witnesses

by Amber on April 18, 2012

in (In)courage

In all my efforts to gather them into myself, to fold them back up for keeps like a love letter in my heart, every day is a pulling away. I have 4 boys, each turning man by the spoonful of oatmeal. I nestle one completely in my arms, he pulls back and seeps the milky smile, looks around the room for his brothers.

I know that already at 8 months he aims to follow them all the way out my door. Right now they swing in the trees, high enough to give mothers heart attacks. Yesterday they ran on rusty tin and said bad words on purpose.

… continue reading over at (in)Courage!

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On the Quiet

by Amber on March 26, 2012

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My husband has been pursuing quiet for lent, and he’s been speaking it to me before he leaves for work. Hands on my shoulders, he says, “Take peace, and find that quiet place with God.” I must confess that I often respond with “pfffff” and an eye-roll, like what’s he even talking about – quiet, in this house.

Read  The Quiet in a Mama’s House, a Mama’s Mind over at (in)Courage!

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What Can You Do?

I sat on the couch with sweet, rare friends, and one prayed words that I couldn’t understand. They were meant to bless me, and I cried in unbelief. I am none of those things she called me, struggling in the tension of the already but not yet. I believed her, Holley, in theory, but I’ve [...]

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my RL (in) Arkansas

A few days ago I climbed another tree to retrieve one of my 4 boys. He was about 2 stories high, dangling and tangled in a mess of saw briars. I stood on a thick vine that wobbled, leaned my shoulder into a branch, held another vine with one hand, and finally released him with [...]

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A Letter to the Ethiopian Eunuch

Back when the church first began, you traveled to Jerusalem to worship. It’s described that your way back home to your Queen and her treasure is a desert road. I imagine your chariot like my car pulled off on the side. Maybe a break to find a little drink. Maybe you say “I can go [...]

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The Dream for the New Year

We’ve moved back to the Rock House, and our den here is blinding in the mornings, sun pouring in. This used to be Grandma and Grandpa’s home, and now it’s ours, outlined in hot pink azaleas and wild poppies in the Spring. Now books line the shelf where Grandma’s dolls used to be. Now four [...]

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